There are now four films in the Twilight “saga” which means I’ve spent 493 minutes in the Twilight universe, at least 492 of them wishing I was somewhere else. The latest episode, Breaking Dawn Part 1 follows the Harry Potter strategy of not separating uncomplaining fools from their money once when you can do so twice, and thankfully is the least rotten of the four films.
All of the “will they, won’t they” nonsense has been leading to this so — at least narratively speaking — they are finally getting on with it. After the longest wedding scene in cinema history — of films that don’t have the word ‘wedding’ in the title — Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) head off to a remote Brazilian island to play chess on the beach and consumate their relationship.
After three films worth of mooning over whether they could even be, ahem, physical with each other without Edward losing the plot and doing that vampire bitey thing, he manages to keep himself mostly in check and turns in a creditable boudoir performance. The good news doesn’t last long, however, and it turns out that his madly powerful vampire seed has unexpectedly made poor Bella pregnant and she is now carrying something that even know-it-all Carlisle Cullen (Peter Facinelli) hasn’t seen before.
I shouldn’t be so glib I suppose. These films are made for fans of the books who have become fans of the films. An opening weekend of over $283 million US bucks is not to be sneezed at and all of these films have proved over and over again to be critic and reviewer-proof. But what am I supposed to say? That it doesn’t matter that the writing is dreary, the acting is flat, the effects are cheesy and the message is dubious?
Breaking Dawn at least moves the story on a bit — while still being the shortest of the four films so far — and manages to incorporate some knowing gags into the largely po-faced material so there is hope that next year’s final instalment might make the long tedious journey worthwhile.
READ THE FULL REVIEW AT FUNERALS & SNAKES
To coincide with the band’s February 2014 tour of Australia and New Zealand, The National front man Matt Berninger will appear at a number of special Q&A screening events for the documentary MISTAKEN FOR STRANGERS....[more]
More than once you’ve attempted to institute a social media blackout to prevent seeing spoilers on Twitter and Facebook. And more than once you’ve failed. No more, thanks to Spoiler Shield. The new app for iPhone...[more]
Fairfax Media is conducting a major poll to find the best New Zealand films of all time. They don't want to be too prescriptive about what counts as a Kiwi film, but generally it is anything that features New Zealand people...[more]
With the New York Film Critics Film Circle unveiling its winners on its Twitter account, the awards-giving season is officially in full swing, and with it comes the annual deluge of Top 10 lists. It's easy to get caught up in...[more]
The feature film Antarctica: A Year On Ice by New Zealander Anthony Powell is gaining acclaim at festivals across North America. So far the film has won: Grand Jury Selection Best Film Laughlin International Film...[more]
The Wellington Film Society will host a rare live cinema event next Monday with local musicians performing a live soundtrack for The Joyless Street. The Wellington Film Society has commissioned five Wellington musicians, known...[more]
A single short film took both the major prizes in the second annual NZIFF New Zealand’s Best Short Film competition announced at Auckland’s Civic Theatre tonight. The Madman Entertainment Jury Prize, a cash prize of $5000 for...[more]
Chilean actress Pauline García will attend the New Zealand International Film Festival to support the Civic Theatre screening of her film Gloria. Gloria is a Chilean/Spanish co-production that tells the story of a divorced woman...[more]
We had fun in Auckland but we are going to have a ball in our home town! Yes, Simon, Kailey and Dan are bringing New Zealand's favourite movie podcast to our nation's capital on Wednesday 31st July - recording the show live...[more]
The Office of Film and Literature Classification have classified a New Zealand International Film Festival film to Festival-only screenings, restricting it from further release in New Zealand. Maniac, a serial killer horror...[more]